Well, whether you have that problem as well, or not, I have a great book for you to read. If you're ready to participate in the Resistance, to make the world a better, safer, more inclusive place for all people, not just for certain groups thereof, then What if I Say the Wrong Thing? by Verna A Myers is a great reading choice. This is a relatively small book and an easy read, told in small, manageable chapters--and yet don't be fooled: the subject matter is so important.
Myers addresses the idea of inclusivity in this book. When I had the pleasure of hearing her speak earlier this year, Ms. Myers talked about how diversity is inviting someone to the party, but inclusivity is asking them to dance. This book is a thorough, easy to understand and follow explanation of how that process of dancing together works, broken down into one topic per chapter. Each topic is posed as a simple question, with easy to understand answers provided. From facing one's own subconscious biases to learning to avoid micro-aggressions, accidental or otherwise, to expanding one's comfort zone and to learning to apologize when needed, the lessons are timely, important, and manageable.
Especially helpful is Myers' explanation early in the book of what others refer to as privilege (white privilege, straight privilege, etc), but which she refers to as "one-ups" and "one downs"--various bonuses or negatives that we experience in life that we probably have no control over, yet nevertheless experience the effects thereof. Treating the idea of privilege as a multi step mathematical problem makes it easier to think about and discuss the complexities of privilege, without the often knee-jerk reaction that often accompanies the term "privilege'. One might be one down, like the author, in gender and race and socio-economic background, but be one up in other areas, by being cis-gender, straight, Christian, native born, and an American citizen, for example. Privileged and unprivileged individuals aren't always as clearly defined as one might think at first, but recognizing the elements thereof is vital if we are going to move forward together.
This book is brief but empowering, and such an important contribution to the ongoing effort of learning to include those who are different from ourselves as well as those who are like us. We won't succeed in our Resistance without all of us learning to work together, and What if I Say the Wrong Thing is a valuable set of lessons on just how we can do that.
